What are YOU focusing on? A lesson in abundance.

Lindsey Social Media ManagerWhat you focus on grows. 

So, let’s check in with each other: What are you focusing on? 

Are you focusing on things that have to do with fear and negativity? For example…

  • the “lack” of something(s) in your life
  • what isn’t going well
  • everything that is going “wrong”
  • what you don’t like about your
  • situation/business/life
  • the negative in each situation
  • fear of not being able to pay bills or be successful
  • overwhelm with your business (not knowing where to start or what to do), your life, your schedule
  • how much you don’t like a certain person or situation

If you’re consumed with thoughts that surround those feelings above, guess what? It ain’t gonna get better. In fact, all those things that you are putting your energy toward are going to GROW and manifest even more in your life.

Jeepers.

Believe me, I know what it’s like to be consumed with ALL of those things. Because that was basically me for the last week and a half. Like, seriously, it’s true.

But in reality, so many things are abundant and going well in my life: my business is growing, I moved into my own beautiful 1-bedroom apartment in San Diego, I am LOVING rehearsals for the musical I am in (in fact, I’m playing the lead role!), I have amazing and loving family and friends surrounding me…but I was focusing on the negatives. The fears. The overwhelm. The “lack.” All I could focus on was what I *didn’t* want. People kept saying “Oh my gosh, I am SO happy for you! Things are going so well for you now!”

Expect I kept focusing on what was not going well. All that made me scared and overwhelmed. Financial responsibility and fears surrounding money, feeling like I wasn’t doing a good job at my part in the musical, how I wasn’t good enough at what I was doing to make it a business…my fears and feelings of “lack” were paralyzing me from doing anything productive.

Looking back, I realize a lot of this negative emotion was coming from my ego…which was probably flipping out at that point because I was stepping into an entirely new (and wonderful!) chapter of my life: new apartment on my own, more responsibility in my show AND really making moves to grow my business. Great things, but obviously out of my comfort zone. So, of course my brain was having a shit-fit, puking up all these fears to put me back in my “place” (i.e. my safe, stagnant comfort zone.)

But finally I had enough of my pity-party was like, “Dude, Lindsey. What the fuck. You KNOW better than this!! CHICA PLEASE.”

So luckily, with the help of a few “Notes from the Universe” and little pow-wow with me, myself and I, I reset my mindset.

OooOOOooohhh. That has a cool ring. “Reset my mindset.” Anyhoo.

I reminded myself that what I focus on GROWS.

I needed to focus and put my energy toward everything that was abundant and wonderful in my life and express gratitude for it. Focus on what I wanted to call into my life and focus on all the abundance that was coming my way (and being grateful for that too!)

I wrote notes to myself that were filled with positive affirmations, my goals and visions for this month and year and what I know I WILL accomplish. It’s like my own little tool-kit for happiness and abundance. I’m checking-in more with inspirational communities and meditating each morning.

And you know what? In the last several days that I have done this, I’ve already felt a major shift. I feel happier. I feel I can serve others and my clients better. I’ve started working with some amazing new people. Like, holy moly. This shit works yo.

I mean, Law of Attraction. It’s a thing. And even if we know all about it, we can still be derailed when we go through a huge transition. Fear, overwhelm and feelings of lack blind us from seeing the joy, the positive and the abundance that surrounds us.

Being down, fearful and negative are normal, human emotions, let’s be real. So feel those feelings if you have them. But it’s what you then do on a consistent basis to release those kinds of emotions that really make the magic happen. That make the mindset shifts happen. That make focusing on what you WANT become a habit.

So, I ask you again. What are YOU focusing on? I think you know what the answer should be ;)

 

What do you believe about yourself?

12289642_10207804085036185_3305789669791416043_nOur beliefs about ourself are incredibly powerful.

They may seem like they just float around our heads, hidden from the world, but in reality, they actually create our reality. What we think and believe about ourselves is a direct reflection of how we carry ourselves throughout life.

Your thoughts become things, actions, decisions and beliefs.

If you want to start feeling happier or creating radical shifts in your life, look on the inside. What stories are you telling yourself (and believing) about YOU?

Do a little digging and reflecting on those beliefs, find out where they’re coming from and switch that shit up. Life is too precious to tell yourself you’re not good enough. Because you are, in fact, incredible.

You hold so much power as a human being…power to diminish yourself or lift yourself up. So respect that power and use it to brighten your life and the life of others.

Start with little affirmations that you say on a daily, consistent basis.

Here’s an example: I am strong and smart. I believe in myself.

Alright, Happy Monday. *Gets off soap box*

Transitions

Lindsey

Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters of our lives won’t have a title until much later – Bob Goff

When going through a transition, there is an inherent ebb and flow. Of emotions. Action taken. Fear, joy, stress, excitement, uncertainty. Sometimes all felt in one single minute.

LindseySuch is how I am feeling now. I’m leaving San Francisco in less than a month to move back home to San Diego. Although it is a wonderful move, everything now is bittersweet. I want to savor each moment, each feeling, each place, each view of where I am in the city. And for some reason, I mostly want to be doing this on my own.

I’m continually pulling myself back from floating around in the future, which is either filled with excitement and joy over what my life will/could be like in less than 30 days or burdened with fear and the lack of having it all figured out. It’s as though my brain is doing some sexy, high-energy salsa dance between the present and future.

I don’t find myself dwelling too often on the past year and a half in Napa and San Francisco. It seems like yesterday I was in Napa or just moving to SF, but it also seems like eons ago. I was a different person then. Young and unsure. Swayed more easily than I am now. Over this past year I’ve felt heart ache, my temper raging, my soul filled with contentment, my eyes watered with tears, my heart bursting with joy and my senses filled with all things new and undiscovered.

But I’ve learned this past year and a half. I’ve grown. I’ve transformed from a young woman to a woman. An adult doing adult things. There’s a groundedness and assuredness in my spirit that wasn’t there before.

Although I still find myself “looking for the adult in the room” sometimes. Anyone else?

What I’m most proud of transforming this past year is my voice. A voice that I’ve nurtured, developed and grown into. My ability over the past several months to lean into some weird and wonderful, dark and beautiful emotions to discover what is really inside me. What really want. What fills me with joy, passion and happiness. Not what I think should fill me with joy, passion and happiness. Not what others, despite their good intentions, think should and will fill me with joy, passion and happiness. Those are all very different things.

I’m proud that I’ve learned that my path is my own. I’m in control of my life. I respect and take to heart what people say and the advice they give. And I can ask for help when I need it. But I am far too savvy now (or strong-willed?) to be confined by other’s expectations of what a life should look like. Or the path you take, so to speak.

As Louise Hay says (and this is my version of it): “I love myself enough to go beyond my parents’, family’s, friends’ and society’s limitations.”

I don’t mean to say my parents, friends, family and society have placed outrageous restrictions, limitations and pressure on me about what I should do with my life. Although there are spoken and unspoken expectations I feel, I’ve been blessed with an incredibly supportive, loving family and community.

Regardless, there are more conventional or unconventional paths people can follow. But that’s their story and choice, not yours.

I’ve learned there is no one “right” path. There is a “right” path for everyone and that is the one they decide to take. It is the one that is right for them. What’s right, logical and fulfilling to one person may not be that way for another. And that’s the beauty of life.

I’m proud that I’m following my voice and truth. Despite not knowing all that it is I want to do. Despite not seeing my path clearly. The vision is there. The emotions are there… But the stepping stones to get there are a bit hazy and uncertain.

But rather than giving up on my vision because the path isn’t clearly defined at this moment (will it ever be?), I know by focusing on my what and why and taking positive action in ways that feel aligned and fulfilling to me, the “hows” will become very clear.

View at the Chart HouseI can embrace the belief that I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, or I can say what is full of actual truth: I know exactly what I am doing with my life because I am following what I know to be true to me.

It’s easy to fall into the “I don’t know what I’m doing with life” slump, whether you’re being humorous or serious about it, because that is the simplest answer and emotion to feel. It’s harder to believe for yourself and explain to others, “So this is what I want, how I’m getting there is unknown, but this is what I’m doing now and even though it’s not all clearly defined, I’m happy because I’m following my gut.”

But in whose eyes is that phrase, “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life” even looked upon? Is it your eyes or society’s? Look upon your life with your eyes, not through an external view. That’s not the most positive or productive one.

Looking at your life through the eyes of society or your family is morphed. It breeds limiting beliefs and leaves you feeling stuck between what they want, and what you want and know to be true for you.

In my opinion, if YOU are happy and content with what you’re doing, no matter what it is, keep doing it. It’s your life. If you’re not happy and content, do something. And don’t “do something” based off of what other people want for you or are telling you to do. Do what YOU want to do. It’s your chance to create something that’s aligned with you and your happiness. It’s an opportunity to fly, not fall into an abyss.

Look upon your life through your eyes. Tune in to your own intuitive wisdom. By doing so you’ll be gifted with one of the most precious realizations: you know exactly what you’re doing.

Things I Like

Pearl and Daisy

I decided to compile a list of “things I like.” Not normal, boring crap. Like, unique stuff. Things that find interesting, intriguing and likable. A little glimpse into my brain, I guess.

  1. The smell of Fall when it first arrives, the crisp cool evenings and chilly air.
  2. Sunrises over the buildings in San Francisco
  3. Slow, early weekend mornings at my apartment: all is quiet in my neighborhood, the fire-escape door is open, curtains are drawn back and I can sip my coffee while journaling or on my computer.
  4. The chills and goosebumps I get while listening to show tunes and Broadway musicals on my iPod.
  5. Singing and dancing to said show tunes and musicals.
  6. Performing. Auditions, rehearsals, tech week, the final performance…all fill me with an indescribable passion that nothing else in my life has ever matched.
  7. Allowing myself to do nothing. And being ok with that.
  8. Dreaming of a life with my soulmate…who will be a Simon Baker look-alike. LOL
  9. The smell and taste of pumpkin flavored everything.
  10. Coffee and scones with my mom at The Blue Mug in Escondido.
  11. Late-night political/societal chats with my dad.
  12. Making people laugh
  13. The look on someone’s face when they have a light-bulb moment
  14. Dancing and singing in a bar or club with friends and having a moment where everything is perfect and wonderful
  15. Margaritas, chips and guacamole
  16. A good Tempranillo or Beaugolais
  17. Cosy, warm evenings with my family, especially during the holidays
  18. Spending time with Pearl every day, waking him up in the morning, kissing him good-bye, seeing him after a long day, scratching his neck before he goes to bed.
  19. Learning something new about myself. Self-discovery. Self-empowerment.
  20. Clearing old beliefs and patters
  21. Being able to identify your true, authentic voice and follow it
  22. Harry fucking Potter
  23. Ella Enchanted (the book, not the movie.)
  24. Hyperbole and a Half blog (one of the greatest blogs ever written)
  25. Notes from the Universe in my inbox every morning
  26. Spanish guitar music
  27. The magic that Sevilla, Spain holds over me.
  28. The beauty, energy and magic that happens when you travel to a new place and discover things you didn’t even know existed
  29. Pinning my dream home on Pinterest. I’ll be real. lol
  30. Those perfect days where you don’t even notice the temperature because it’s just so perfect.
  31. Writing something that impacts someone positively
  32. Memes and GIFs. I seriously pee in my pants from laughter sometimes. (Not really, but almost.)
  33. Trying local, unique coffee shops and cafes
  34. The smell of fresh mountain air and pine trees

….and that’s about it for now! :) I’ll keep adding to it.

What are some of your favorite things?

I write because…

Song inside you
I write because…
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“I want to be as vulnerable and raw as possible so people feel less alone. I want to make people happy or laugh, even if it’s at my own expense.” Alexi Wasser, from “I’m Boy Crazy,” excerpted from #GIRLBOSS
Song inside you
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There is a voice inside of me that needs to be shared. Openly, plainly, honestly and humorously. What is the point of hiding your voice? Be bold and share it with the world. Do good and good will come to you.
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Writing is also a way for me to find and understand my true, authentic voice. To help me follow my truth, my dreams and my heart.
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I’m especially excited to write at this point in my life because I’m going through a huge transition period. I am moving from San Francisco, where I’ve been the past year and a half, back to San Diego (my hometown) in December. I’m so happy with this decision. It was bittersweet to make, but it was so plainly and easily the right choice for me.
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I don’t have a job or an apartment yet but, as nerve-wracking as that is sometimes, it’s more exciting than anything. I have a completely new, blank chapter in front of me. One that I can completely write with my own unique voice and truth. One that I can design on my own. I have an outline and idea of what I want my life to be like and what I’ll be doing, but honestly…nothing is set in stone. I can do anything.
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Again, nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time ;)
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Expect funny, self-help and self-empowerment topics, personal adventures and stories, wisdom and my own musings on life and fulfilling our purpose. At the very least, I want to put a smile on your face, to make you laugh and feel familiarity.
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Lindsey Social Media ManagerI want to be an encouraging and supportive voice for any young person going through a transition period or who need a little inspiration and motivation to make things happen…things THEY want, dreams they want to achieve, adventures they want to pursue.
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I hope to grow a large, engaged, positive and hilariously badass audience. I love connecting with new people, so comment away!! I want my blog to be a platform for people to learn, connect, share with one another and feel they are in a supportive, safe environment.
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My goal is to write consistently and grow a strong community on this blog, but to also branch out into writing books, selling merchandise, guest posting, writing for magazines, hosting weekly podcasts and vlogs and speaking at events.
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Come along for the ride! :)

The Adventure Continues: Big Changes Ahead

View at the Chart House

As with all things in life, when one chapter closes, another one opens.

I’m moving back down to San Diego.

View at the Chart House

When I write the word “back,” I initially feel like I’m giving a sense of defeat…I’m moving “back” home because I couldn’t hack it here where I am in San Francisco. But that’s not the truth. And the truth is, I am moving back to San Diego. I grew up there and spent a year there after I graduated college.

The decision has been brewing for a while and this past week it was made official official. (As opposed to just “official.” lol) Official official because I told my boss on Thursday that I was leaving.

Pearl and Daisy

Pearl and Daisy are certainly coming along.

This was a really difficult conversation because I love, respect and care for my boss so much. I love my job at the clinic and it truly is my family and second home here in the city. But the conversation was fine, full of laughter, understanding and figuring out the next few steps for hiring another person, etc. I’m very fortunate that I can keep working remotely for them when I’m in SD. It’s work I love and I still get to stay in touch with some of my favorite people.

The movers have been hired and I’m still sitting in this space where the decision is really starting to hit me.

And I’m fucking excited. It’s bittersweet to leave a place I’ve been for the past year, say good-bye to my amazing community and work here, but the truth is, San Francisco just isn’t my city.

I could tell over the past couple months I needed a shift and change…but I didn’t know what it was. I was constantly vacillating between staying here and moving down to SD, getting another job (or part-time job) in SF to help financially, finding a job in SD and then moving down…but the indecision kept me caught in limbo. And it was starting to really stress me out. I would have these mini panic attacks, usually in the morning, and feel so overwhelmed with emotions I couldn’t even identify. I knew I needed to be decisive and then take action from there.

Cardiff By-the-Sea

View of the ocean on the 101 Highway, between Encinitas and Cardiff.

I had so many voices in my head about what I should do and what I was expected to do, that I had to take a step back from everything, identify my voice and what wanted from my life…not what other people suggested or wanted me to do. Or what I thought they wanted me to do.

About a month or so was spent journaling my heart out, meditating, conversations with my counselor and finally I gained more clarity. What did I want? It’s such a simple question, but one that makes you answer honestly and then…BAM. There’s your answer.

So what did I want? I wanted to move to San Diego. By the end of the year. Job or no job.

Ok then. Let’s do it.

So much ease, relief, happiness and calm came once I made the decision. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is make a decision and then take action from there. Not take action based off indecision like I was trying to before (aka a half-assed job search in SF and SD).

I don’t have a job lined up in SD, I don’t have an apartment, but I don’t care. I have 5 weeks until I move down and a lot can happen during that time. I’ve seen my life completely change- job and city- within 30 days twice already. Five week? Psh. That’s an extra week ;)

I’m looking for jobs, but also looking into freelancing and social media management as much as I can. I really want time freedom to do things that fill me with passion and happiness. Travel, theatre, designing my days the way I want to. I currently have a few gigs, including working remotely for the clinic, that will sustain me financially…at least for now. (Eeeeek. lol)

Truth be told though, I really have no idea what I want to do. I’m continually getting down on myself for this, what I see as, lack of purpose, direction, drive and decision. I know exactly the kind of lifestyle I want, the things that make me filled with happiness and passion and laughter, what I want my life to look like…but right now there is a disconnect between what I’m doing presently and how to get to what and where I envision my life to be. But it’s so close I can almost taste it.

Sunset at Chart House, SDI know clarity will come with time and, as my counselor has told me countless times, I need to give myself the space to let that clarity come. It always does. And when I get clarity…holy shit man, I GO for it. Take action and make it happen in a very short amount of time.

But it’s not something I can force, I have to let it happen with natural and intuitive ease. So what I have to keep reminding myself to do in the interim is continue to take action and be productive in ways that feels natural and right and give myself the space for clarity to come. It always will. Stay true and connected to MY authentic voice and follow what I know is right for me.

In other words, focus on the “what” and “why” and not the how. Because, let’s be real, that always fucks things up. lol

Anyways, I guess the only other thing I have to say is how freaking excited I am for this move. It’s simply the right time. All my family is in SD, I love my community and friends there, I love the lifestyle and vibe…it’s just me. 

View from Julian

What is also exciting (and at times induces mild panic until I remind myself to practice what I preach) is the fact that this is a completely blank, new chapter. I have an outline of what I want and know my life will be like, but it’s completely open and blank. I’m moving down to SD on December 7th and, as of now, that’s all I’ve got. My life is in my hands. Completely open to my design and I can create whatever I wish. It’s new and fresh and waiting to be transformed in ways that I want and know, and in ways I don’t yet know. It’s so exciting! Not scary at all. Yes, maybe a little stressful when I start over-thinking it all…but mainly exciting because it’s such a fresh new “beginning” (or continuation?) and San Diego is really where I want to be. I think I’ll be able to breathe a sigh of relief when I finally land in the place I know I am meant to be.

IMG_6833And with that, I’m going to finish my coffee and pumpkin bread and get ready for Halloweeeeeeeeeen! I’m going to be a cat :) Well, let’s be real, a slutty cat. Classily slutty. If that’s a thing. LOL

Meltdowns, Mascara and Organic Peanut Butter

Lindsey Social Media Manager

I think we all have this expectation that when we have a meltdown, we’ll somehow look like the Disney princesses as they flawlessly toss their heads into their arms and do a few snot-free, back-heaving sobs. Who are then suddenly surrounded by their small woodland friends, all of whom have a vocabulary larger than mine, who comfort them in their weaker moments.

But “flawless” was the furthest thing from my meltdown today as I found myself sitting in my car, full-on sobs, nose running, eyes dripping and with nothing to wipe my face with other than the sleeve of my woolen-ish sweater (ew) and my hands.  

If you’re like me, you can kind of tell when a mini-meltdown will be happening. Like how weather/science/geologist people predict something will happen within a given timeframe, they’re just not sure exactly when and what will set it off.

Welp, I am a super-scientist when it comes to my meltdowns. I know they’re gonna happen, but since I’m a fairly even-keeled person, I don’t know what will set them off. Although when the switch is flipped, it’s usually because of something completely unrelated…that “cap on the pickle-jar” scenario. It’s usually something ridiculous, like the trash bag not fitting on the lid of the trashcan. And rather than pleasantly giving up and buying different trash bags like a normal, sane person, we stretch that sucker until it breaks and the trash can flips over.

“Oh my gosh, why are you crying Lindsey??”

“The f*cking trash bag won’t fit on the f*cking trash can and it’s so stupid and I’m just so sick of this shit!!”

It wasn’t a trashcan that set me off today; it was finding zero parking spots in my neighborhood. Like zilch. All the ones I did find were free because of the street cleaning tomorrow, which was exactly why I was moving my car in the first place. After about 20 minutes of zooming around, I finally gave up and angrily jerked my car from drive to reverse from drive to reverse until I was backed into an open spot that was indeed marked for street cleaning tomorrow. And then I burst into tears.

A few weeks of going from my day job (which I love) to my apartment to do my work (building my business), with too little sleep and too much coffee, already had my poor adrenals on high alert. I wasn’t giving myself enough breathing time.

I love every single thing I am doing; it is a lot of work, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it. If I need to stay up until midnight to get my projects done, then so be it! I’m full of passion for what I’m creating and doing. The last few weekends have been great…but filled with work. Again, something I’m totally, 100% willing to do. Another under-lying factor is that I am confident in what I’m doing, but at the same time, I also feel like I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I just keep believing in myself, taking action and feeling so blessed that I have support from amazing people.

But I could feel the breaking point coming where I would need to release the stress and adrenaline. I had hoped that it would be via a sad movie sob session or maybe even through a longer meditation (in my dreams), but no. Blubbering in my car. And then proudly prancing down Broderick Street to my apartment, face mildly streaked with make up and mascara (it was cute. And one more contributing factor to #thesinglelife.)

So, my meltdown wasn’t flawless. It was gushing, full of snot and clearly non-waterproof mascara. At the same time, it was fantastic and much needed.

But I can tell you what I am flawlessly doing right now is sitting on the floor of my apartment writing this with a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth (it’s organic with no additives, thank you). This was post-forced-cuddle session with my bird, which, for those of you who know birds, “cuddling” isn’t their forte. He loved it though. I know it.

Anyways, I’m gonna go make dinner.

I know, there were no “action steps to make you life healthier and happier” in this post. But I hope this was a story that provided entertainment and a sense that we all have “those kinds of days.” A relatable “fairytale.”

Lots of love from the health and fitness coach who still stress-eats peanut butter once in a while. Peace out friends.